Have you ever heard a band that had a terrible sound guy? I’m talking EQ jacked to the max, no discernible instruments or voices, volume set to full-on aural destruction. You think to yourself, can’t he just balance out all that distortion?! It’s not an enjoyable experience, at least for someone who––call me crazy–– likes to hear things.
There are times in our lives when we have the EQ set to high straight across the board, when we’re going full throttle. No thought is given to balance or beauty, or how all that “noise” can distort how we perceive ourselves, and in turn, how that distorted perception affects those around us.
Do you take time to think about your self-image? How is it; good, mediocre, not so good? Are you pulled in so many directions or have so many plates spinning that you barely have a strong footing on where you are, where you’re going, what you look like during all of the chaos?
I talk to so many people who habitually self-deprecate that I feel a nearly uncontrollable urge to grab them firmly by the shoulders and shake the shit out of them in order to jar them back into reality. When you have gotten to such a stressful place in your day to day that you nitpick your own physical appearance, things need to change, especially when what you see is nothing close to reality. It’s a defense mechanism. I understand it, as I am still working on it myself. I will say something despicable about my appearance before you have a chance to critique my job performance, or my parenting skills, or how I look. Yikes. Someone isn’t very comfortable in their own skin.
Give yourself a break, seriously. We all have responsibilities that need to be met; some of us have demanding jobs, others have 4 kids, or a spouse, maybe an ailing parent, or perhaps no one but ourselves on which to lean. We all have things that jack the EQ to the max, that distort how we perceive our lives and, more importantly, ourselves. You don’t have to do everything all the time. Tomorrow was made to catch the things that fall through the cracks of today.
Take a look at your EQ: is there a nice balance, not too much bass pounding through the floor, not too much tweeter screaming in your ear? Take some time at your desk, or in the car, and reconnect with your breath–– for those of you in a constant state of panic, let me remind you that the breath comes in and goes out. In for two counts, out for three or four counts. Repeat this until you feel your shoulders leave the vicinity of your ear lobes, till that twinge in your lower back unknots, and you’re no longer white-knuckling the steering wheel. Do you have a visual of how ridiculous you look with all those things going on? That, my friend, is the reality of imbalance and distortion.
Give yourself a break. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. I don’t particularly care if you think I’m insane for having said that: DO IT. If you do not start balancing your life you will not see yourself undistorted and therefore cannot love yourself. And what have we heard repeatedly about loving ourselves, boys and girls? Right, if you don’t love yourself, you cannot really love anyone else. Now where is that going to leave the people about whom you care?
Time for a simple equation principle: If I love you, and you love me, then I love me.
Did you see what I did there? Cool, huh? That can only happen without distortion of self. Now let’s go balance our life volumes; the distortion is making other people crazy.