Choices.
We’re confronted with them nearly every moment of our lives. What to wear. Which route to take to work. How to settle an argument between your kids. Who to date. When to take a stand.
There are times when we feel backed into a corner, pressed against the wall, stuck between a rock and a hard place, when it seems there is no choice to be made; as if “choice” was somehow ripped away from us, and we’re stuck there, victims of circumstance.
We’ve all been there.
The thing is, there is still a choice to be made, even in those circumstantial situations.
Maybe your position at work was terminated and you’re being let go. How could this happen to me? You have choices here: wallow in “woe is me” muck feeling powerless, which leads to inaction; or, be pissed, but accept that this situation sucks, pull up your pants and look for another job.
Often times, we allow our emotions to get the better of us. It has become the norm to go running to social media to gripe about how life is unfair and how poorly we’re being treated, as if the Universe is somehow out to get us.
We do it for support.
We do this to surround ourselves with other people who enable our inaction instead of encouraging us to persevere, to do something about it.
I’m not saying don’t feel emotions. Quite the contrary. I’m saying feel the emotions and let them springboard you into forward–moving action.
Wallowing gets us nowhere, except deeper into the tub of detrimentally emotional goop where our fingers and toes are sure to get all pruney and gross. It’s very unattractive, both literally and figuratively.
I’ve had one of my positions (which brought in half of my yearly income) terminated this year. I had two major abdominal surgeries, one of which caused me to nearly flatline… twice. I know that corner, that wall, and that uncomfortable spot between the rock and the hard place far more intimately than I ever wanted.
I stubbornly said a resounding F-you to the wallowing, pulled up my big girl panties, and got on with it.
Are these the worst things that can happen to you? Maybe. But what about the next thing that happens? What if that is worse than this? How will you choose to handle it?
Even if it’s a decision of whether or not you let a difficult situation strengthen your convictions or destroy your nerve, you always have a choice.
Always.
Nicki, this essay speaks the power of uncomfortable truth. You’ve made the cogent argument for personal responsibility and accountability. It’s preferable, and much easier, to assume the external locus of control. Darn it.
It is always easier to let the external control us; we look to it as the fall guy, the one who did this to us. What a bunch of baloney the whole thing is. Grown men and women acting as if we don’t have control over our own emotions. The accountability to oneself is difficult. It has to be worked at, and it’s not always pretty. But what’s the alternative? The mire of muck with the pruny toes? No thank you.
You Go, Girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aww… thanks, Dad.